Industry Laughs

An interoffice softball game was held every year between the Marketing Department and the Mail Room of Major Corporation.

As hard as the Marketers tried, the Mail Room team soundly defeated the Marketing Department.

The Marketing Department decided to find the best "spin" they could on the dismal result. They showed how they earn their keep by posting this memo on the bulletin board after the game:

"The Marketing Department is pleased to announce that for the recently-completed Softball Season, we came in 2nd place, having lost but one game all year.
The Mail Room had a rather dismal season, winning just one game all year."

When the client moans and sighs
Make his logo twice the size.
When the client's hopping mad,
Put his picture in the ad.
If he still should prove refractory
Add a picture of his factory.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

A Genie appears to the copywriter, art director and account executive that are working very late at night on a project due the next morning. The Genie offers to grant each of them one wish.

The copywriter says: "I've always dreamed of writing the great American novel and win a Nobel Prize. I wish I could be transported to a remote island – with all the amenities in spite of my seclusion - where I can concentrate and write my masterpiece."

The Genie says, "Abracadabara” and the copywriter disappears.

The art director says: "I wish I could live in a country house in the south of France, and have a studio where I could create a painting of such genius that it would hang in the Louvre. The Genie says, "Your wish is granted!" and Abracadabra, the art director is gone.

The Genie then turns to the account executive and says, "And what is your wish?"
The account executive says, "I want those wannabes back here so we can do some real work.”

A wise man once said, ‘It ain’t advertising if it don’t sell.”

A man wakes up in the morning after sleeping on an Advertised mattress,
with Advertised bedding.
He showers with an Advertised bath product. And brushes his teeth with an
Advertised toothpaste and rinses with an Advertised mouthwash. After drinking
an Advertised coffee and eating an Advertised breakfast product, he drives to
work in an Advertised car.

But he doesn’t believe in Advertising. He figures it just doesn’t work.

Hard times fall on him, and business becomes increasingly poor.

So he used Advertising to sell his business.

Now he who has a thing to sell
And goes and whispers in a well
Is not so apt to get the dollars
As one who climbs a tree and hollers.

How do you change a light bulb at an advertising agency?

Art Director: Does it have to be a light bulb?
Copywriter: Can we "replace" it rather than "change" it?
Account Executive: Can I get back to you on that one?

Integrated Marketing Communications: An interesting analogy

You see a gorgeous woman at a party. You go up to her and say;
“I’m fantastic in bed.”
That’s Direct Marketing.

You are at a party with a group of friends and see a gorgeous woman. One of
your friends goes up to her and pointing at you, says, “He is fantastic in bed.”
That’s Advertising.

You see a gorgeous woman at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, “Hi. I am fantastic in bed.”
That’s Telemarketing.

You are at a party and see a gorgeous woman. You get up and straighten your tie, walk
up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her purse after she
drops it, offer her a ride, and then you say, “By the way, I am fantastic in bed.”
That’s Public Relations.

You are at a party and see a gorgeous woman. She walks right up to you and says,
“I hear that you are fantastic in bed.”
That’s Brand Recognition.

The Best Violins
Three violin manufactures have all done business for years on the same block in
the small town of Cremona, Italy. After years of a peaceful co-existence, the
Amati shop decided to put a sign in the window saying:

"We make the best violins in Italy."

The Guarneri shop soon followed suit, and put a sign in their window proclaiming:
"We make the best violins in the world."

Finally, the Stradivarius family put a sign out at their shop saying:
"We make the best violins on the block."